Member-only story
This happened on day 80
The Sobriety Roller Coaster
ALL the emotions
On August 19, 2024, I made a commitment to sobriety. Now, it’s November, 80 days later, which feels simultaneously like a long time and no time at all. I’m tired as an old man, green as an asparagus, and raw as a rug burn. The thing I didn’t expect from sobriety was everything. It’s enough to make you go, “Huh.”
Here’s how my week is going
From Saturday to Tuesday I was in New Orleans for a work thing. This is the first work trip I’ve taken since giving up the drunk life. If the idea of trying to remain sober in New Orleans seems ridiculous to you — why even GO to New Orleans if yer not gonna drink? — then you and I are on the same page. I was anxious.
People tell stories in which relapsing seems disturbingly abrupt. A guy sits at a table. There are a few unfinished glasses of booze there — who doesn’t finish their booze? — and the guy thinks, “Wow, if I wanted to I could drink all those — ” And WHAM! Suddenly he’s sitting there with empty cups, because he threw them all back as quick as a jackrabbit in heat.
“How did that happen? How could I let myself do that?” he says, and then, “Well, if I’ve blown my sobriety, I might as well really go to town. Bartender!”
